This is why software people need good quality assurance testing people. Programmers have a whole set of norms, things that computer people do as a matter of course. For example: They'd never try to specify certain options together. They'd never press the back button during a transaction. They'd always fill in the fields labeled "required". So, they test their code and it works. Then a human tries to use it, and that human isn't a programmer cued to the programmer's norms and the program blows up. There's a lot of insight here.
Another way to deal with unreasonable people - ban them. The Athenians had ostracism for a reason.
It's not always possible but it's a very strong mechanism. Get a feel for the group and COORDINATE blasting them out. If you're big and socially impervious to complaining whiny a-holes, be the one who, after having gotten the group's temperature (to figure out if they'll support you), go up to the annoying person and tell him - "look, you're not welcome here, we don't like your type of people, please piss off and don't come back".
Most annoying people will be shell shocked you too dared cross a social norm (being unpleasant in a social setting, if that wasn't clear). They tend to think they're the only ones who can do that. And, like the bullies they so often resemble, they will melt away once confronted. They will resent you, hold a grudge and try sabotaging you if they can but the reality is that most of us can withstand that kind of petty social warfare.
This is why software people need good quality assurance testing people. Programmers have a whole set of norms, things that computer people do as a matter of course. For example: They'd never try to specify certain options together. They'd never press the back button during a transaction. They'd always fill in the fields labeled "required". So, they test their code and it works. Then a human tries to use it, and that human isn't a programmer cued to the programmer's norms and the program blows up. There's a lot of insight here.
Another way to deal with unreasonable people - ban them. The Athenians had ostracism for a reason.
It's not always possible but it's a very strong mechanism. Get a feel for the group and COORDINATE blasting them out. If you're big and socially impervious to complaining whiny a-holes, be the one who, after having gotten the group's temperature (to figure out if they'll support you), go up to the annoying person and tell him - "look, you're not welcome here, we don't like your type of people, please piss off and don't come back".
Most annoying people will be shell shocked you too dared cross a social norm (being unpleasant in a social setting, if that wasn't clear). They tend to think they're the only ones who can do that. And, like the bullies they so often resemble, they will melt away once confronted. They will resent you, hold a grudge and try sabotaging you if they can but the reality is that most of us can withstand that kind of petty social warfare.
I see your Douglas Adams reference!