When I was a postdoc I used to make a point of attending a bunch of other department’s colloquium. I called it my TV time. Watching the talks and then socializing a bit with the ones that had tea before or after was great. Boy did the synthetic biologist give the most impenetrable talks. FWIW f that dean, more campus events sounds awesome to me.
Board games? Either with already existing friends, or at a local board game store or cafe? Bonus if you can get the kids into them as well. Now pretty much any time my grown kids come visit we sit down for a game at some point.
That's an angle I hadn't thought enough about. Maybe not board games per se-- a lot of the cool ones are a bit too complex to be relaxing for me-- but I used to play a lot of cards in college. My dad has a weekly card game with a bunch of other retired teachers where they play Pitch, and that kind of thing would fit the bill nicely.
During/after my divorce, I needed the same sort of connection and social outlet and scratched an itch that had been provoking me for some time -- local theatre. Auditioned and got involved slowly, ultimately cast in 1-3 plays per year, which was enough for me. I absolutely loved it.
You also love books/movies; perhaps there are existing (or social network groups for starting) book/movie clubs that could meet at local restaurants.
Allow me to suggest curling! You have a curling club right in your back yard, https://schenectadycurlingclub.us/ It's social - one of the most revered traditions is post-game broomstacking, where the winning team buys drinks and you sit down and chat for a while. It's adaptable to various levels of physical ability - if crouching is a struggle, there are people who stand and use push sticks, like shuffleboard; there are also wheelchair curlers. There's a lot of physics involved - the standard billiard ball style conservation of momentum stuff, but also, people have written academic papers about the interaction between stones and the ice surface, and why they move the way they do. No one seems to agree. Plus, it's a lot of fun!
Cycling. You already ride a bicycle, but it sounds like you’ve never ridden in a peloton (that’s a fancy word for “bunch”.) And that’s a whole different experience, and an amazingly social and physically rewarding one.
First - from one active 53 year old to another - cyclists are nicknamed “MAMILs” - Middle Aged Men In Lycra - for a good reason. It’s joint-friendly, great for cardio, great for experiencing the outdoors, and amenable to quick and casual acquaintance that has nothing to do with work. Hence, the demographic above. It’s a nice way to meet people in real life that you would otherwise never cross paths with, in a shared enterprise. We (my wife & I) have made more friends through cycling over the last five years than everything else put together. You just ride… and someone’s riding near you. You strike up a conversation. Or you don’t. Or you’e feeling tired and someone offers you a “lift” (i.e. draft.) Or someone’s stuck with a flat and so you help them. There’s a community vibe to cycling that’s great.
Second - you reduce your drag force around 40% when you draft within 6’ (I can find a cite for this if it would tickle the physics part of you) - this means a pack of cyclists will easily go at a speed that will wear out a solo cyclist quickly. There is this wonderful sensation of being in a school of fish when you link up with a group of other cyclists, a careful ballet of positions and effort and path, that is incredibly rewarding and fun. The group riding aspect of cycling is its own thing.
Third - most pains from cycling are usually as a result of poor fit. There are many reasons why so many people ride bikes that are poorly fitted to them; shops wanting to sell a bike quickly vs. the time and trouble to fit someone correctly; people just accepting that biking involves pain or discomfort; the money to get a custom frame if your anatomy doesn’t happen to fall within a standard deviation of the mean the manufacturer is aiming for; young folk getting ‘sexy’, ‘racy’ bikes that demand a flexibility that their body does not possess; older folk taking out the old bike that was great for their 30-year old self, but not so much their 53-year old self; the money required to get a decently fitted bike… But if there is one thing I tell new cyclists they must not compromise on, is *get a bike fit and then a bike that fits you.* That’s worth more than any fancy material, shifter, color, or other fun but inessential details.
Anyway… it’s a thought. If you want more details on where to start more “serious” (or really, more social) cycling, send me a note.
I was thinking about this while out for a quick ride just now, and perversely the solitary nature is one of the things I like about cycling. Also the photo hiking, and cross-country skiing when we have snow. I like not being beholden to anybody else on those trips-- if I want to speed up, slow down, or change routes, I can just do it. And it's time when I'm definitely not doing anything else, so I can use it to think through stuff (a lot of blog posts have been mentally drafted while hiking or biking...).
There's maybe some interesting psychology to poke at there, contrasting my attitude toward basketball, which is explicitly competing against another person with my feeling about more individual sports. If I'm only really competing against myself-- biking faster, skiing farther, whatever-- I'd just as soon not have anyone else there at all.
I started out riding that way - solitary and commuting between Long Island City and Park Slope, where other riders were... at best, scenery, at worst, unpredictable obstacles to avoid! And I still cycle solo a lot, for all the reasons you enumerate.
But the *option* to cycle with others is nice - it sets you up to be a better rider on your solo journeys, and I find each makes you appreciate the other more.
So, perhaps think of it as adding a social option to your cycling, rather than an either/or...
I have been in a cycling club for about 20 years. I joined when I about 45. I was even president of the club for several years. We are a friendly club. No one is racing. There was always a lot of chatting along the ride. I learned a lot of new routes on those rides and we usually had pizza and beer afterward.
When I was a postdoc I used to make a point of attending a bunch of other department’s colloquium. I called it my TV time. Watching the talks and then socializing a bit with the ones that had tea before or after was great. Boy did the synthetic biologist give the most impenetrable talks. FWIW f that dean, more campus events sounds awesome to me.
I was going to suggest tabletop rpgs. Regular meetings with the same folks is a good way to make friends.
Join (or start) a band? I am similar age to you and just picked up guitar about 8 months ago (probably won't join a band though).
Board games? Either with already existing friends, or at a local board game store or cafe? Bonus if you can get the kids into them as well. Now pretty much any time my grown kids come visit we sit down for a game at some point.
That's an angle I hadn't thought enough about. Maybe not board games per se-- a lot of the cool ones are a bit too complex to be relaxing for me-- but I used to play a lot of cards in college. My dad has a weekly card game with a bunch of other retired teachers where they play Pitch, and that kind of thing would fit the bill nicely.
Board and card games (not all of the "cool ones" are that complex) was going to be my suggestion too.
I'm really into board games and there is a broad range of complexity levels. I think you would find a level that you would enjoy.
During/after my divorce, I needed the same sort of connection and social outlet and scratched an itch that had been provoking me for some time -- local theatre. Auditioned and got involved slowly, ultimately cast in 1-3 plays per year, which was enough for me. I absolutely loved it.
You also love books/movies; perhaps there are existing (or social network groups for starting) book/movie clubs that could meet at local restaurants.
I have a friend who did this starting at about the same age and when his wife passed a few years ago, he got even more involved in it.
Allow me to suggest curling! You have a curling club right in your back yard, https://schenectadycurlingclub.us/ It's social - one of the most revered traditions is post-game broomstacking, where the winning team buys drinks and you sit down and chat for a while. It's adaptable to various levels of physical ability - if crouching is a struggle, there are people who stand and use push sticks, like shuffleboard; there are also wheelchair curlers. There's a lot of physics involved - the standard billiard ball style conservation of momentum stuff, but also, people have written academic papers about the interaction between stones and the ice surface, and why they move the way they do. No one seems to agree. Plus, it's a lot of fun!
Cycling. You already ride a bicycle, but it sounds like you’ve never ridden in a peloton (that’s a fancy word for “bunch”.) And that’s a whole different experience, and an amazingly social and physically rewarding one.
First - from one active 53 year old to another - cyclists are nicknamed “MAMILs” - Middle Aged Men In Lycra - for a good reason. It’s joint-friendly, great for cardio, great for experiencing the outdoors, and amenable to quick and casual acquaintance that has nothing to do with work. Hence, the demographic above. It’s a nice way to meet people in real life that you would otherwise never cross paths with, in a shared enterprise. We (my wife & I) have made more friends through cycling over the last five years than everything else put together. You just ride… and someone’s riding near you. You strike up a conversation. Or you don’t. Or you’e feeling tired and someone offers you a “lift” (i.e. draft.) Or someone’s stuck with a flat and so you help them. There’s a community vibe to cycling that’s great.
Second - you reduce your drag force around 40% when you draft within 6’ (I can find a cite for this if it would tickle the physics part of you) - this means a pack of cyclists will easily go at a speed that will wear out a solo cyclist quickly. There is this wonderful sensation of being in a school of fish when you link up with a group of other cyclists, a careful ballet of positions and effort and path, that is incredibly rewarding and fun. The group riding aspect of cycling is its own thing.
Third - most pains from cycling are usually as a result of poor fit. There are many reasons why so many people ride bikes that are poorly fitted to them; shops wanting to sell a bike quickly vs. the time and trouble to fit someone correctly; people just accepting that biking involves pain or discomfort; the money to get a custom frame if your anatomy doesn’t happen to fall within a standard deviation of the mean the manufacturer is aiming for; young folk getting ‘sexy’, ‘racy’ bikes that demand a flexibility that their body does not possess; older folk taking out the old bike that was great for their 30-year old self, but not so much their 53-year old self; the money required to get a decently fitted bike… But if there is one thing I tell new cyclists they must not compromise on, is *get a bike fit and then a bike that fits you.* That’s worth more than any fancy material, shifter, color, or other fun but inessential details.
Anyway… it’s a thought. If you want more details on where to start more “serious” (or really, more social) cycling, send me a note.
Good luck!
I was thinking about this while out for a quick ride just now, and perversely the solitary nature is one of the things I like about cycling. Also the photo hiking, and cross-country skiing when we have snow. I like not being beholden to anybody else on those trips-- if I want to speed up, slow down, or change routes, I can just do it. And it's time when I'm definitely not doing anything else, so I can use it to think through stuff (a lot of blog posts have been mentally drafted while hiking or biking...).
There's maybe some interesting psychology to poke at there, contrasting my attitude toward basketball, which is explicitly competing against another person with my feeling about more individual sports. If I'm only really competing against myself-- biking faster, skiing farther, whatever-- I'd just as soon not have anyone else there at all.
I started out riding that way - solitary and commuting between Long Island City and Park Slope, where other riders were... at best, scenery, at worst, unpredictable obstacles to avoid! And I still cycle solo a lot, for all the reasons you enumerate.
But the *option* to cycle with others is nice - it sets you up to be a better rider on your solo journeys, and I find each makes you appreciate the other more.
So, perhaps think of it as adding a social option to your cycling, rather than an either/or...
I have been in a cycling club for about 20 years. I joined when I about 45. I was even president of the club for several years. We are a friendly club. No one is racing. There was always a lot of chatting along the ride. I learned a lot of new routes on those rides and we usually had pizza and beer afterward.
Go to college basketball and hockey games with friends.
jiu jitsu. powerlifting. quiz nights at a pub. improv class. table top games.
One of my former advisors used to be (and for all I know may still be) part of a recurring cookbook club.