The Internet is a communications network, and as such, its promise and power come from the opportunity it provides to share information on a scale that never existed before. The barriers to creating and sharing data and art and commentary with massive numbers of other people have never been lower. Millions of people have taken advantage of that opportunity to do amazing things, and terrifying things, and things that are both at once.
Unfortunately, that ease of sharing sometimes leads us to believe that we have not only an opportunity to share our opinions on everything, but an obligation to do so. This belief is another feature of modern media culture (both social and not) that’s ultimately pretty corrosive to mental health, as it can drive us to endlessly seeking out and sharing Takes about absolutely everything. One of the most important lessons to learn about the modern social Internet is that you are not in any way obliged to give your Take on everything.
There are a great many things in this world that I don’t care enough about to craft a well-informed opinion about. Any number of books, movies, musical genres, and tv shows that are not to my taste. Scandals and elections in places where I don’t live. A dizzying array of people at varying levels of notoriety who have chosen to Fuck Around and are now Finding Out. While there are all manner of channels, from friend-of-an-acquaintance resharing to paid promotions and algorithmic “Trends,” for throwing this stuff in my direction, I’ve learned that, more often than not, it’s not a good use of time and energy to learn more about them to the extent needed to offer a Take.
That realization took a disgracefully long time, but has been remarkably freeing. It takes a bit of discipline to refrain from clicking on that Trending Topic link, or diving deeply into whatever ephemeral outrage is roiling the waters of #discourse, but it’s way better than the alternative. You are not required to publicly care about every single thing that happens, and if you try to, you’ll drive yourself crazy. Unless you are being paid to have a Take on some specific thing, it’s absolutely okay to pass. If your immediate reaction to some topic is “Oh, who gives a shit?” give that one a miss; something else will be along presently.
The superficially clever rejoinder to this is to say that choosing not to have an opinion is itself an opinion, and may in fact be the spiciest Take of them all. But that’s missing the point. The point is that you don’t have to share an opinion on a topic that you don’t actually care about. It’s the perceived obligation to share Takes that’s the problem, leading to burnout from trying to read everything about everything so as to have fully informed opinions. Or, much worse, to embarrassing blowups from popping off on some topic without knowing all the relevant details.
If you don’t have the interest, time and energy to craft a well-informed opinion about something other people are talking about, just go ahead and sit that one out. They’ll be fine without you, and you’ll be fine without them. If you think a hot topic is a waste of time, definitely sit that one out— do not write 1500 words about how everybody else is stupid for caring about what one minor celebrity said to another. Just, you know, go for a walk, or something.
There are a great many things in this world that I do care about. An astonishing variety of books, and movies, and music, and tv shows that I enjoy. Causes and candidates that I think deserve effort and money. Spending time with my kids and family and friends. Unlike the imagined need to weigh in on the topic-of-the-moment online, my obligations to them are real and important. Keeping that in mind is key to keeping sane on social media.
OK, that’s a bit of a rant, but it was mildly cathartic to type it out. If you would like this sort of thing in your email at irregular intervals, here’s a great big button:
If you know someone else who ought to read this rant, here’s a different button:
If you’d like to try to guess what current Trending Topic I was fighting off the temptation to comment on when I decided to write this instead, the comments are open.
Almost the exact same moment this article arrived in my inbox, another one from Cal Newport's newsletter arrived with this link to an Atlantic article: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/07/twitter-addict-realizes-she-needs-rehab/619343/ It's definitely provocative and in the same vein.
I've backed way off Twitter (https://rtalbert.org/twitter) and a helpful thing I've found when tempted to post something on social media is to ask: Did anybody actually ask for my opinion on this? If the answer is No, then I usually end up dropping it and working on something useful instead.